Tuesday, October 6, 2009

are we close?

Many people have wondered why we tend to verbally attack our closest family members when we have any reason to be angry or upset. Despite any rationalizations we may do, in most cases, anger is not a very loving act.

Why is it that we often treat strangers much better than we treat our own children, spouses and others close to us?

The reason is actually fairly simple. We show considerably more anger towards people we love because the more we love someone, the more open our heart tends to be.

That in itself is not an issue -- in fact, that is how it should be. The problem is that the more open we are, the more vulnerable we are to those close to us. When a stressful situation involving a family member arises, a protective shield of anger comes into play. This is why we lash out at our family far more violently than we would at a stranger.

these are taken from my senior's note, which i find true. indeed. self explanatory. im not saying that when im treating you harshly, dat means im closer to you (which is true) n it is right for me to do dat. just understand why would i be reacting like dat to you sometimes (basically all the time), i would be very grateful of you. =)

n also, "The problem is that the more open we are, the more vulnerable we are to those close to us.". this strucked me the most. im not the type of person that have many friends. just a few, but closer, which is preferable. i did have few person that manage to make me be so vulnerable in front of them, haha. i cried in front of them, i told them almost all stories about my crushes, my wishes, my dreams, my dissapointments, my study thing, me arguing with others and other things. and one of them just made something that made me hard to trust anyone now. i dont know how to put it in word. i know myself very well i would say. its like when you are desperately and vulnerably depending on a person, and he or she dissapointed you or simply broke the relationship, you dont know how much it impact me. :|

tomorrow : cheme exam. gosh. im afraid. dont be malas2 hani.