friends

i dont have much friends. im da kind dat sticks to my gang, not mingling with everyone. why? maybe because i wanted trust and want to keep my privacy thing within the ones i entrusted.

but now dat im 20,im alone. i only contacted 2 close friends. the rest? hurm,you can say things got awkward between us. we dont talk much, dont even know what to talk about. trying to chat with new people=chat room, but couldnt stand crappy,nonsense conversation.

since i left my high school, i have this thought that friends dont last. seriously. you moved out, you met new people, your old friends made new friends. you may keep in touch, but the intimacy is nowhere to be found. and the fact dat people do change.. not treating them nicely. im sick of starting the conversation already. approach me. greet me. ask me how am i doing lately. but the short reply of mine aint helping though.. =.=

so after an incident here, ive gotten even worse i think. i mean i made more friends, got closer wit my batch. but somehow not dat close, sometimes i think im not being myself, im there,but not really there. its like im not 24/7 available, standing by the side. ahh sometimes words dont explain things well. n also using them for benefit.

ah merepek2

alamak

bila tengok blog kawan2, semua org menulis dlm tatabahasa yg betul. tapi aku? eh eh tapi saya? hihi..

saya memang lemah bahasa malaysia dari sekolah rendah lagi. tambah-tambahan sekolah menengah, tak pernah merasa gred A dalam genggaman tangan, *mengeluh*

but english has always been easy for me. i don't know, maybe its in my blood i think, because my dad is kinda good, well during his years.. so getting A is not hard for me, and i love having a conversation in English as well, because i tend to be myself more that way.

perbualan dalam bahasa malaysia agak sukar bagi saya. mungkin kerana slang kedah yang sudah sebati dengan diri saya, selama 17 tahun! jadi untuk berbicara dengan teman2 dari orang bukan utara membuatkan saya berasa sedikit malu dan janggal.

n another reason is that, i think speaking formally in bahasa malaysia is too cheesy!! da most common example? i love you = saya cinta kamu. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, CAIR2 BLUSH2 MALU2 GELI2 HAHAHA!

so when i came to Vandy, well in fact before that, like in the 1st half of 2008, i started talking while loosening the slangue, and so far it worked well. most people here in vandy were surprised when i told them that i am from perak, because i barely had the slangue, well except when i speak super fast, then the slangue kinda comes out naturally. haha..

n why did i bother writing about this? saje je, sebab tengah usha blog kawan, peh sume cekang bhsa melayu skema habis. pstu tibe2 terasa nk tulis blog. okay nk smyg nk tido. esok nk jumpe duck v. blwek!

addicted to shopping!

i swore i tried to resist it but i just couldnt! muahahaha! just now i went to lebanon, super mega giant shopping outlet. n there was sales everywhere! n i might probably end up buying coach handbag soon, either after i got my salary or after i get the next allowance.

i bought 2 shirts at tommy hilfiger. wut a deal! :P too bad there arent any nice sneakers at nike, sigh.. i miss opry mall soooooooo much! cepatla repair2 nie haaaa. for those who didnt know, opry mall was badddddly damaged thanks to the recent nashville flood. so it is going to be closed for 2-3months. T_________________T

n there aren't any nice, decent jeans too. I. WANT. LEVIS!!!! T_T n im not a big fan of Gap, it just didnt suit/match with my style maybe.. i need to find shirts, be it long or short. my clothes are shrinking!! okay i lied. i kinda gained weight a bit, but im fine! im still underweight. hahahaa. tp mcm xmuat sgt la.

n arini mengantuk gile sbb pg2 klua pegi wlmart n ramadhan,tp ramadhan ttup. beli veggie tuk guinea pig, mkn byk nk mati ish3.. nsb comel, tp still xnk lyan ak. T_T n then straight headed to fgh, im working right now. kene cr duit laaaaaaaaaaa. kang kalo tidak sesak nanti nk mkn apa? mkn ranting? haha..

okay after nie nk tgok movie kejapppp. pastu esok kne bgun awal utk rajin bekerja. byeeeeeeeeeee~~~~ <3

my boring day

its 4.26am, n its not sumthin to be surprised at dat im not sleepin yet. its holiday btw. i slept for 12 hours today,gosh, slept at 6am n woke up at 6pm. niceee.

pdhal i still got errands to do...like going to bookstre buying some stuff. n then going to bank. haih pegi bank maleh nie. n then buying food--> chicken!! n then in da next few days takin a parcel for a friend of mine.

ape lg random things ehh. oh fabregas prolly moving to barcelona. random much? sbb die handsome, hihi.. got midwest jersey today. eventho besa, tp sbb its black color, mcm xobvious sgt kot. i have short torso,long legs and hands. so kinda hard to find clothes for me. n my friend keeps saying dat im weird for having such longgggg hands and legs. haha, tp rse mcm mnarik je? kah3! n ohhhhh, naqi bought me a fridge magnet from korea yeayyy!! eventho im not a big fan of fridge magnet, but sgat terharu huaaaaaaaaaaaa. syang naqi lebih seyes xtipu!!! nnt magnet tu msti akn dijaga dgn baik2 heee~~ n i miss opry mall. T__T tp kne berjimat. sobs. tp tape, nnt fall break or winter jalan2 eh hani? :) hopefully. so simpan duit cepat2 hihi!

california looks so much interesting! LA lagi. NY lagi. weee~

finished watching a 26-episodes anime in 2 days. sedihhhhhhhhhhhhhh xde kissing pun. hahaha! bad hani. overall its a gud anime lah. it makes me ponder over certain things. n im taking care of my friend's pet. pet tue sombong lah! xnk main dgn org. sedihhhhhh. :(

xtahu nk ckp apa lg. apparently my days have not been dat exciting. last 2 days i chatted with hajar for quite some time. n then yesterday i chatted with popo pula. but basically yesterday n today were spent indoor. maybe i'll go out tomorrow. dunno yet. haha. going to bookstore. n then going to centennial park alone sounds good. n then eating dessert. haha.

moody

out of all types of people, i seriously hate liars n those that break promises. fullstop.

so kalau ko rsa ko trgolong dlm golongan ni. kau leh gi mam.

kalau dah sekali kau buat hal dgn ak, ak ni sumpah jenis yg ingat, bkn berdendam, cuma act tu terngiang2 je rsa. so bile nmpk muka ko je automatic die flashback ape kau buat dgn ak.

sorry la emo skit mlam nie.

new night at new room with new people

me n da rest of my batch sent our friends to the airport this morning. i dunno how to describe the feeling, it kinda felt empty inside..but at the same time, the thought of going back freaks me.

n i moved to sharifah n mimi's room today. since lily n najiah headed to malaysia, guess i'll have nowhere to stay. there will be xtra special guest in my home, so i kinda kicked myself out of my very own house. haha.

n then i went to harris teeter then to bubbletea shop. n on the way there, met these people that had just had their bubbletea, n they said they were going shopping this evening, n i dont know if im wrong or what, but i seriously thought they invited us to go together. so when they left without us, me n my other friend, i kinda went blank, like did i misunderstand them or what. kinda felt left behind, especially for the fact that this is my first summer being alone, without the chemes.. :(
n i dont mix well with people im not close with.

then my friend and i asked several people if it was possible to borrow their cars. n theres this human that i ym-ed. i asked if i could use this human's car to go shopping. n he said he cant,coz he's using it for, you can say for a good cause. so i kinda had a gloomy evening, but it was fine. n later that evening, our batch had a meeting in regard to activities that we were in charge of. then after the meeting ended, someone told me that the human that i planned on borrowing car turned out to be going out shopping! n apparently with someone that are not my batch.

the thing that super pissed me off was that he lied to me. like XXXXXXX man, im fine if u dun want to lend ur XXXXXXX utterly fine car to me. if u XXXXXXX wanna go shopping, just XXXXXXX tell me straight then. why do u hav to XXXXXXX lie to me u bloody moron? jijibae sial. suddenly felt the rush of cursing,after hearing the XXXXXXX word lately. XD

not dat im super angry, but for the fact that i had a wasted day,with no dinner thanks to the long,necessary meeting,which i have nothing against it. just kinda felt that it ruined my mood. n he was even in charge of rather important aspect of activities that we were to hold. sukeati kau aa. ops, did i just mention 'he', after trying to restrain myself by using human? who cares. SUKEATI KAU AA.

ps : adamaya cm tahii. xsuke mayaaaaaaa. xsuke dani!! huduh,gemuk,hitam,bibir hitam,xsukeeeeeeeeee. kalo la ak dpt lelaki mcm adam, 100% ak transform jd lemah lembut, ak blaja msak2, blaja jahit, blaja jaga anak, mmg wanita melayu terakhir wa ckp sama lu. n again, the drama was just highly exaggerated i think. poor acting. i wud rate it 2.5 out of 5.

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i dont wanna it to b game over to me yet. i still ned to go on. but things r just not goin my way.
i dont want to get penalty already. :( oh god.