friends

i dont have much friends. im da kind dat sticks to my gang, not mingling with everyone. why? maybe because i wanted trust and want to keep my privacy thing within the ones i entrusted.

but now dat im 20,im alone. i only contacted 2 close friends. the rest? hurm,you can say things got awkward between us. we dont talk much, dont even know what to talk about. trying to chat with new people=chat room, but couldnt stand crappy,nonsense conversation.

since i left my high school, i have this thought that friends dont last. seriously. you moved out, you met new people, your old friends made new friends. you may keep in touch, but the intimacy is nowhere to be found. and the fact dat people do change.. not treating them nicely. im sick of starting the conversation already. approach me. greet me. ask me how am i doing lately. but the short reply of mine aint helping though.. =.=

so after an incident here, ive gotten even worse i think. i mean i made more friends, got closer wit my batch. but somehow not dat close, sometimes i think im not being myself, im there,but not really there. its like im not 24/7 available, standing by the side. ahh sometimes words dont explain things well. n also using them for benefit.

ah merepek2